This Monday was my son Alex’s 12th birthday. Our regular tradition is to release helium balloons with little notes stapled to them and send them off to heaven, after we hold hands and quietly sing Happy Birthday to him. It is also my father’s birthday who also has passed away, so we include him as well.
After we watch the balloons completely disappear in the sky, we light his candles on a special cake I get for him and blow them out as a family. A candle, his urn, photo and his little stuffed dog are always included. It is a very sad time, but we still want to acknowledge him and show our love to him.
It is so hard to believe my baby would be twelve. I look at other boys his age and try to figure out what he would look like. So many milestones have been missed. Since he only lived 22 days, all of which were in the hospital, I never got a chance to experience what it would be like to care for him and be alone with him. There were always doctors and nurses everywhere and he was hooked up to many machines most of his life.
As hard as that time was and how heavy of a heart I have, I would still never trade having him as my son. He had a purpose that is so significant, that I can still see it playing out so many years later. I will always miss him more than words can describe, and I am proud to say that I am his Mommy. I love you, precious son. <3
Below is a link to a webpage that an online friend made for me after Alex passed away in 2003. At the time, I belonged to an online forum for scrapbookers that was called Two Peas In a Bucket. The ladies and I all got to know each other and many followed Alex’s story. If you would like to see the lovely page she created in memory of my son, please click here: http://web.archive.org/web/20091025024958/http://geocities.com/memoriesofalex/index.html